Monday, 16 March 2015

Things you never read in romance novels.

You read a book to take you away from reality. To help escape the real world for a couple hours. Well, I was reading the other day, and something happened where I thought, 'yeah right, that would never happen in real life'. And for some strange reason, I got to thinking about all the stuff you don't read about. The things that happen all the time, but are never in a romance book. (I have not read every single romance book ever written, this is just based on the hundreds that I have read. So, if you've read a book where these things happen, let me know about it, because obviously I haven't!)

Things like: farting.

I mean, does the guy ever let one rip? And the woman? Yeah, right. Come to think of it, does anybody ever take a shit? I mean, bathroom breaks are rarely even mentioned. I know it kills the mood to say, "I've been holding it since you first threw me down and took me 8 hours ago, and you know there's nothing I'd love more than to get railed by you with a full bladder, but do you mind waiting a few so I can go pee?" 

Or: Periods.
I believe I read one book where the main character got her period. And it was mentioned because she was so upset and she was horny and didn't want to wait a week to get laid again. Oh wait! There was another one where the guy got her a heating pad because of her cramps. Ahh, let's not forget the one where he took out her tampon. So, I guess it is talked about a little bit.

Lastly: Morning Breath.

I actually cringe when I read, or write for that matter, the morning after. When she rolls over to find him watching her contently. "Morning, beautiful," he says. Then they kiss and make love, panting warm, nasty morning breath all over each other (without anybody needing to urinate, mind you). I really actually like it when it's mentioned, when one of the characters at least brings up that they need to brush their teeth. Then the other will tell them they don't care about morning breath. That's when the love making begins. So for that to get brought up, it doesn't pull me out of the story at all, in fact, it makes the story feel more real to me.

So, there really is not point to this post. Just that I though about these things and wanted to share. Feel free to let us know your thoughts. Is there something I forgot to mention? 

Now, I'm going to go immerse myself in a fake world and ignore the dishes falling out of my sink. :) 


Post a comment