Sunday, 15 February 2015

Alpha AKA Asshole

Asshole, control freak, domineering, douche, tosser (now there’s a UK-ism for you) and arrogant. Just a few words, which spring to mind, associated with Alpha.

I’ve been wondering recently what makes an Alpha male.... Alpha. So I asked the girls what they thought and everyone has their own version.

But, the main points made all pointed to the fact that Alphas, or at least in romantic fiction, are actually complete twats you’d never really want to be with in real life.

This leaves me with an issue because I’m married to a classic Alpha. Ex RAF, runs his own business, is self-assured, confident, dominant, and has a presence when he's in a room.

My husband has very little time for fools, he’s decisive, he’s protective, he’s downright annoying and he’s always fucking right (and he usually is, hence the annoying). His love is fierce and passionate.

Now, I’m no wilting flower, and that may be where the difference comes in. I need a strong man to handle me. I’m a raging bull at times and I need to be reigned in. He handles me well. I’m feisty and flighty and lack confidence in public (not at home). He holds me up, bolsters me. Every day without fail he tells me I’m beautiful, but it’s not just words, he makes me believe it, even when I’m in baggy sweats, with ratty bed hair.

He makes me feel, desired, protected, loved. His dominance does not stifle me, his confidence inspires me, his protection secures me and his love is endless. Ultimately he supports me. So, if this makes him an asshole, I’m glad I married one.

Okay, that being said, he’s a real life Alpha, not a romance novel Alpha.

I’m writing, what I think is an Alpha male in Noah, but is he a romance or the real life version? What’s the difference? I hear you ask. Okay so that’s hypothetical but I’m going to answer it anyway.




Marianne came up with the best definitions on this so I’m going to steal her words.

Real Life Alpha:

Alpha males are confident, have their shit completely together, are driven to succeed but don't give a shit if they fail, they just pick themselves back up and succeed next time. They always dress snappy. They listen to other opinions and take advice when they believe it's warranted. I.e. they have advisors they trust in business. They're always intelligent, dominant but not aggressive.

Romance Novel Alpha:

They're argumentative, bully their women and underlings. They don't listen to anyone but expect everyone to do as they say. Usually don't have a sense of humour but are broody and stern. He doesn't have faults that he would admit to. Always succeeds and has never experienced failure, or so rarely that he falls to absolute pieces of the girl doesn't want him. Don't have very high morals and fucks everything in a skirt. They are hugely arrogant, and are always right. Thinks no means yes.... Etc. etc.

Which leads me to being confused. LOL. I've read plenty of novels with typical romance Alphas in and fell head over heels for most of them. Some are also tossers. But what I think is reading is escapism. It doesn't matter if you are completely content in your own life, living in Hell or anything in-between. Reading gives you a release, lets you live a life you'd maybe never get the chance to, maybe would never want to. Therefore I think the romance Alphas give us a glimpse of a life we wouldn't aspire to, because lets face it, many of them are really fucked up and who needs that in their life, but it doesn't mean we don't dream about having that type of man. They also give us hope. Hope that we may change the drug taking bad boy living next door, or maybe have a rich billionaire sweep us off our feet, we know it's unrealistic, we know the chances are slim to none. But we all need daydreams in our lives.

I think Noah is a mix of both real and romance Alpha, but I’m so in love with him I think I may have rose tinted glasses on. I want him to be a strong male, but not an asshole. My editor is booked for June, my cover has just started being worked on, so it looks like release will be sometime in July/August 2015. Maybe you can tell me which Alpha Noah is then…

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